Language Arts Class, Very Important It Is

Proofreading...a dying art.
Taking cues from Yoda Journalists are...and editors are being hired off the street, maybe...

Some "examples":

Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter
Hm...now, how does that work?

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
No, really? You think?

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
A little extreme, maybe?

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
That sounds a bit odd...

Miners Refuse to Work after Death
What lazy bums! How dare they!

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
Wha-what? What happened to a fair trial? Moving straight to the guns?!

War Dims Hope for Peace
What did you think it would do? War create peace?

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
Well, that makes sense. Now tell us something we don't know.

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Can you believe it?

Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
Wow, I wonder how they came to that?!

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
Something stronger than duct tape? Amazing!

Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
Isn't HE the battery charge...

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
The first group wasn't fat enough?!

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas
Wasn't he warned not to be chowing on those beans?

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Do they taste like chicken, too?

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Hollywood would love that as a thriller plot...

Hospital Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Is that the new record for tallest person?

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Really?!


Are these really newspaper headlines? I have no idea. But admit it, you smiled at least once while reading through this!

:)
Enjoy summer,
Little Star